appar-2

KuuRRaayinavaaRu 

Appar 2

Thirunaavukkarasar, the king of the tongue, sang some of the most profound verses in Tamil which stand as the real glory of the Tamil language itself. And today we are beginning with his first Patikam having already studied in great depths his epoch making MaRu MaaRRu TiruttaaNdakam, very appropriately named thus as it seeks to bring about a fundamental change in society away from Buddhism Jainism and Brahmanism that to him appeared as systems that do not value real individual freedom. That "No one is subject to anyone " ( naam aarkkum kudi alloom) is that which became the primordial insight that gave Bakthi oriented Saivism its disctinctiveness along with metaphysical insights that endedup with the Fundamental Ontology and hence philosophically a solid foundation.

This first patikam , as the story goes, was sung by Appar , when he returned to Saivism after being misled into embracing Jainism for a while. But he returned with a new understanding of Saivism after his misadventure with Jainism which made him also a political activist, a revolutionary figure almost like Ghandi of those days and who challenged the Pallava Emperor, a Jain, when he persecuted him because he returned to his original religion, Saivism.

In this Patikam he is very personal and with tears in his eyes pleads to Civa to show mercy on him and in that also discloses some personal particulars. It would appear that he was in fact married but that kind of life being a very unhappy one for him, left it and became a social activist who worked tirelessly for the revival of Saivism and along with it Tamil language also.

I am very happy to include this as the second of his in the ThirumaRai Corpus that I am trying to create.

Loga

Appar 2-1

      
      
     
      



                       .    ,         .    ,                   .         ,  !

kuuRRaayina vaaRu vilakkaliir kodumaipala ceytana naan aRiyeen
eeRRaay adikkee iravum pakalum piriyaatu vaNagkuvan eppozutum
tooRRaaten vayiRRil akampadiyee kudaroodu tudakki mudakkiyida
aaRReen adiyen atikaik kedila viiraddaanat tuRai ammaanee!

I do not know what kind of evil things I did in my ignorance but now their effects have become a killer and though I suffer immensely, of Lord! you are not doing anything to alleviate my pains. But despite that Oh Lord! mounted on the Bull, I continue to worship you day and night and always without ever departing from you. I cannot bear the pains in my belly and Oh Lord ! who resides in the Temple of Viraaddaanam in Atikaik kedilam, that affliction without showing itself as to what it is, attacks my intestines and keeps on ever increasing the pains!

Notes:

Pains of this sort probably are not due to the normal diseases caused by the germs and so forth. They are karmic and hence impossible to identify and cure in terms medicines of any kinds. Perhaps, as the story goes, Appar tried many kinds of cures but failed and only because of that he says that it is torturing him 'tooRRaatu" i.e. without showing itself. Such pains being psychosomatic are not curable through herbs and medicines. The cause being the unconscious factors, it can be cured only by BEING for only he can reach the Unconscious and through appropriate tiikkai, burn off the action-outcomes that remain the cause of such pains. The Siddhas would call such diseases as Karmic diseases and would recommend religious rituals by way of curing people from such ailments.

Appar 2-2

   
      
   
      
  
       
   
      

:

       !      ,         .              .  ,           ,        ,        .      !  ?

Nenjcam unakkee idamaaka vaitteen
    ninaiyaatoru pootum iruntaRiyeen
vanjcam itu oppatu kaNdaRiyeen
    vayiRRodu tudakki mudakkiyida
nanjcaaki vantennai nalivatanai
    naNukaamal turantu karantum idiir
anjceelum enniir atikaik kedila
    viiraddaanattuRai ammaanee!

Oh Lord who resides in the temple of Viiraddaanam , on the banks of the river Kedilam! Instead of worshipping you with wearing the external symbols, I kept my heart itself as the place for You and thus made it veritably a temple! Furthermore always thinking of you I did not bother to judge my actions as to whether they are becoming to you or not. But despite all these you have not driven away and removed this affliction that affects my stomach and like venom kills me and makes me incapable of any action. You do not also say : Don't worry, this affliction will soon pass! Tell me oh Lord , what can I do?

Notes:

Man is a weak creature and only when he forgets this that he becomes egoistic and even claim that he is God-incarnate. Incurable diseases especially the very painful ones can be considered as one of the Tantras of BEING, a strategy that HE uses to torture man so that he would cry out for help. At the very point he cries out, his Ego is wounded and he realizes that he is NOTHING without the Grace of BEING, that even the very simple life of good health is a GIFT , a blessing of BEING.

Appar also realizes here that there are NO STRATEGIES -- tricks of whatever kind -- that one can use to avoid such sufferings. Even though he claims that he keeps BEING in his heart and does everything with his mind firmly entrenched in His thoughts, nevertheless the killer pain attacks him make him groan with unbearable pain. It also appears to him that he has to SUFFER for BEING does not cure him at all and worse still there is NO PROMISE even to that effect. It all appears to be so UNCANNY , so so mysterious.

Perhaps that is what Appar is being taught here -- that BEING is totally autonomous and supremely Uncanny and Mysterious -- His ways are supremely inscrutable.

Appar 2-3

  
      
   
      
   
       
   
      

:

       !        ,          !       !            ,      .   ,      .      ,                  !          !           !   !

paNintaarana paavangkaL paaRRavalliir
    paduveNdalaiyil palikoNdu uzalviir
tuNintu umakkaad ceytu vaazaluRRaal
    cudukinratu cuulai tavirttaruLiir
piNintaar podi koNdu meypuuca valliir
    peRRam eeRukantiir cuRRum vendlaikoNdu
aNintiir adikeeL atikaik kedila
    viiraddanatuRai ammaanee

Oh Lord who resides in the temple of Viiraddaanam , on the banks of the river Kedilam! People do evil thing because of self-conceit induced by aaNavam and when they realize the evils they have done and become obedient to you, you graciously purify them by removing the evil karmic deposits. Holding the skull as the alms plate you go about taking this aaNavam as the sacrifice of the people. I have weighed all these and avoiding the false religions and other lesser gods, if I worship you and live solely by you having come to right decision, but still this affliction is burning in my inside like fire producing excruciating pains. I implore you my Lord, please remove this affliction from hurting me further. You are capable of that for you roam around wearing the ashes of those who disagree with you and thereby meet their untimely death. You also move around with the BULL as your vehicle, the BULL of infinite virility that ensures good health and longevity. You also dance wearing the garland of skull to remind people that untimely death is there always unless they are graced by you.

Notes:

Saivism is historically noted for its concern with death and overcoming the fear of death. This it does by FACING death as a reality in life and hence also its opposite -- life renewal or regeneration. Destruction and recreation go together inseparably and the causal ground is BEING, and for which reason He is known as antam-aati or Cangkaara KaaraNan. Appar is reminded of the destructive aspects of BEING because of his affliction and which brings him close to the experiencing of death.

But this also provides deep metaphysical insights about the origin of miseries and death-like processes. That which causes death is aaNavam, the metaphysical stuff that is anaati and because of which man does the evil things. In addition to the pull unto the divine there is also pull unto the aaNavam and whatever that is done under its pull is informed by BEING Himself, as evil , as Paavam. And when BEING informs that an evil is being committed and a man realizes that and ceasing to be arrogant self-conceited repents and becomes obedient and humble, then BEING removes the karmic deposits that are lodged in the hidden recesses of the mind and purifies the soul. This is the CURE for the evil doers and only BEING can cure because only BEING can radiate LIGHT and remove thereby the DARKNESS breeding aaNavam. The radiated soul is the illuminated soul and illuminated soul is the healthy soul.

However Appar knowing this very well after wandering into Jainism and so forth and perhaps the worship of other deities, and having settled on the worship of Civa, he is still puzzled that he is still afflicted by this killer pain that burns like intense heat in his belly. Unbearable he PLEADS for divine intervention, for the Grace of BEING reminding himself the various archetypal forms of BEING through which He discloses that there is Grace of BEING behind good health and longevity that we take for so granted (till we are about to be deprived of it)

Civa as the Dancer in the burning grounds is a reminder that without His continuous Grace , there will be only destruction and death , pestilence warfare natural disasters and through all these DEATH which is so so close to us but kept at a distance because of the Grace of BEING.

It is at the face of DEATH that we realize the we LIVE only because of the grace of BEING.

Appar 2-4

  
      
   
      
   
      
   
     

:

       !       ,              .            .           .      !    ,             ?   ,   .

munnam adiyeen aRiyaamaiyinaal
    munintenai nalintu mudakkiyidap
pinnai adiyeen umakkaaLum paddeen
    cudukinRatu cuulai tavirttaruLviir
tannai adaintaar vinai tiirppatanRoo
    talaiyaayavar tangkadan aavatutaan
anna nadaiyaar atikaik kedila
    viiraddaanattuRai ammaanee!

Oh Lord who resides in the temple of Viiraddaanam , on the banks of the river Kedilam! Before when I was in ignorance I did many evil things and because of which you departed from me and because of which I suffered and became incapable of doing anything meaningful. Now having realized that , I have become solely devoted to you. But despite my conversion , this disease still afflicts and keeps on burning within. Oh Lord I implore you to relief me of this excruciating pain. It is the duty of all leaders to remove the afflictions of all those who submit themselves to them by way repentance . You are also disposed towards the creatures in the same way. And so please show kindness to me as my lord!

Notes:

Here we have an articulation of the Saiva Theory about the evil actions people do and why they produce as their consequences miseries of all kinds including the killer diseases such as the one Appar is experiencing here. No one does the evil knowingly , they are done because of IGNORANCE and which in there already because of the affliction of all souls by Maalam, that which induces a Metaphysical Blindness. This Maalam ( malam) or aaNavam is the antiChrist, that which pulls the anmas in directions opposite to BEING, the Supremely Radiant. The actions that are done under the pull of the aaNavam are the viizcci vinaikaL, actions that constitute the FALL of man. Each one of such actions INCREASES the presence of aaNavam and because of which there is MORE of metaphysical blindness. And because of this BEING also becomes psychologically MORE DISTANT and hence also less of aruL.

It is the condition of being with very little aruL that makes the anmas defenseless against diseases both physical and mental. If the viizcci vinaikaL are continued, the presence of aaNavam also increases and hence more and more death-like processes and finally untimely deaths.

Repentance consists in KNOWING that it is only because of the Viizcci VinaikaL that one has committed that is suffering thus now and realizing that begin to avoid doing such actions and indulge only in actions that would rescue one from the FALL and which are actions under the pull of BEING.

Appar having already realized that says that he does only things that are consistent with the will of BEING. But despite this self-conversion or metamorphoses, the disease continues and the affliction persists. And he wonders why this is still so and implores for the immediate of Grace of BEING.

But this dilemma also discloses a fundamental truth about the evil actions and their consequences. The moment such viizcci vinaikaL are done there are already karmic deposits in the deepest recesses of the mind that Thirumular calls 'aazvinai' meaning action-outcomes lodged in the Depths.

It is also indicated that no matter how movingly we implore and beg, cry and call out for help, it will not be immediately forthcoming DESPITE the fact that BEING is obliged , as the lord of creatures, to alleviate the pains of those who repent and surrender. The relief does not come immediately as if by magic-- it comes in slow measures and that too only if one indulges in another form of Praxis, the Malarcci type of actions , actions which are actually the Divine Praxis, the Civac Ceyal. Such actions make the anma move CLOSER to BEING and it is this psychological PROXIMITY and because of which the anma gains entry into the aruL veLi, the Grace-Space that the karmic-deposits are singed , anma made PURE and through that freed of pains and miseries.

Appar 2-5

  
        
  
      
   
      
   
     

:

    ,     ,                 ,          .          .         ,       ,       ,   !

kaattaaLabavar kaaval ikaztamaiyaal
    karai ninRavar kaNdukoL enRu colli
niitttaaya kayam puka nuukkiyida
    nilaikkoLLum vazittuRai onRaRiyeen
vaarttai itu oppatu keeddaRiyeen
    vayiRRodu tudakki mudakkiyida
aarttaar punal aar atikaik kedila
    viiraddaanattuRai ammaanee

: Oh Lord who resides in the temple of Viiraddaanam , on the banks of the river Kedilam that is flowing with swelling waters ! Because I lacked the guidance of those who show the right way and set the course always on the right direction, I wavered and on the encouragement of the bystanders who said plunge into the river of life and find out for myself, I plunged into and now not knowing how to swim to the shores I am suffering in great confusion. I haven't heard the right discourse or description of what is the most appropriate. I am suffering from this affliction in my belly and the pain being unbearable I have come to you. Oh Lord show me kindness.

Notes:

There are many kinds of diseases some of which are psychological or metaphysical in origin. The state of metaphysical confusion, profound uncertainties with respect to the meaning of existence etc. probably is the one that has taken the shape of this cuulai nooy, the burning of the belly , from which Appar is suffering with unbearable pain.

There are someautobiographical notes here. Appar lost his parents very early in life and was looked after by his sister Tilagavati who probably could not control him sufficiently . The political situation was also very unsettled as the well entrenched Jainism and Buddhism were disintegrating and there was immense confusion everywhere. Saivism and VaishaNavism were just beginning to assert themselves to fill up the vacuum. Caught in these metaphysical confusions, Appar abandons Saivism and adopts Jainism as his new religion. But however his words that 'vaarttai itu oppatu keeddaRiyeeN' indicate that his metaphysical quest were not satisfied by this religion and hence he became one who plunged into a great river and caught in the whirlpools, suffers not knowing how to swim back to the shores.

It is at this point that he is attacked by this disease which makes him return to Saivism and secure the metaphysical illuminations that provided the cure. He lived healthily till he was well into in the eighties

Appar 2-6

   
      
  
       
   
      
   
     

:

     !             .         .              .        .         ,          
  ,        !

calam puuvodu thuubam maRataRiyeen
    tamizoodicai paadal marataRiyeen
nalan tiingkilum unnai maRantaRiyeen
    un naamam en naavil maRantaRiyeen
ulantaar talayiR palikooNdu uzalvaay
    udaluLLuRu cuulai tavirttarulvaay
alanteen adiyeen atikaik kedila
    viiraddaanat tuRai ammaanee

Oh Lord in the temple of Viraddaanam on the banks of the river Atikaik Kedilam! I have very dutifully worshipped you sprinkling pure waters , offering fresh blossoms and showing light along with fragrant incense . I have sung songs in Divine Tamil with appropriate rhythms by way of praising your glories. In existence both in moments of anguish as well as happiness I have never forgotten your presence and You being the cause of it all. I also keep on muttering without ever forgetting your divine name civa! civa! as if reciting mantras. Oh Lord , who staying in the thoughts of those who wander away and keeps on disturbing them and making them restless by way of begging away their dirt within, please remove this affliction that continues to torture me!

Notes:

The most important concept that emerges here is : BEING remaining in the thoughts of those who go the wrong way and makes them restless and that too in order to receive as sacrifices from that person all the impurities within so that he would be free of them. The ancient notion of "sacrifice', a common theme in also religions and which has a very torturous history gets its real meaning here. During the days of ignorance the impulse to sacrifice only the EVIL in self was displaced and misunderstood as self sacrifice i.e. killing one self for the gods. This was later replaced with animal sacrifice. However as the human mind developed and became more cultured the worship became aesthetically more pleasant such as sprinkling fresh waters, offering flowers , spreading pleasant incense and showing light etc. In this mental evolution , the notion of 'sacrifice" gets isolated from the act of worship and with this differentiation begins also the real meaning of sacrifice. The Pali , the sacrifice BEING demands is the impurities within that causes a person to do evil, that which makes a person the 'small one", the narrow and very egoistic, the sinner where the word 'sin" is actually SumeroTamil and which also occurs in Akkadian as 'sihru' (Ta. ciRu)

BEING demands as sacrifice only this ego-self and it is only for this purpose that he disturbs the individuals by PLAYING a game in their thoughts , in thier mind, metaphorically put here as 'talaiyil pali koNdu uzaltal"

Those who go the wrong way are taken care of by BEING Himself for such individuals, will not be allowed to be at peace with themselves. Always made restless with full of anxieties they will be tension-prone and hence become easy victims for all kinds of diseases.

No matter how clever and politically powerful a person is , he cannot cheat TRUTH just as he cannot cheat death. Those who waver and go the wrong way will end like Appar, restless and full of pain in the belly and the reasons of which are unknown. Such afflictions are removed only when they sacrifice their ego-self and become the humble and submissive egoless self just like the Saiva Appar.

Appar 2-7

   
       
   
      
   
        
   
     

:

                 ,   .            !         .              .     .        ,  !

uyarnteen manai vaazkkaiyum oNporuLum
    oruvar talai kaaval ilaamaiyinaal
vayntee umakkaad ceytu vaazaluRRaal
    valikkinRatu cuulai tavirttaruLiir
payantee yen vayiRRin akampadiyee
    paRittu puraddi aRuttu iirttida naan
ayarnteen adiyeen atikaik kedila
    viiraddaanat tuRai ammaanee!

Having fallen like the so many ordinary individuals into family life and that of searching for wealth to maintain it , but I abandoned it all because I did not have the proper guidance towards leading it successfully. Oh Lord! who resides in Viraaddaanam on the banks of Thiruvatikaik Kedilam, even if I live a life completely devoted to you, I am still not relieved of this affliction. It burns my belly, it twists turns plucks cuts asunder the intestines creating excruciating pains. Not being able to take it all anymore, I have become thoroughly exhausted . Oh Lord! show me some kindness , provide immediately some relieve.

Notes:

The lines here indicate that Appar was married and led family life for some time in the course of which he was unmindful of the spiritual but very interested in the economic -- working and creating wealth. However he seems to have had an unhappy family life perhaps due to lack of proper guidance. Having forsaken this very ordinary life , he seems to have embarked upon the metaphysical and attaching himself to Civa must have lived a life of social service. However this disease, a real one by the description of it, sets and makes him really BEG for mercy from Lord Civa. All vanity destroyed , he is humiliated to the level of begging and imploring to be relieved of the pain.

Looking at this we can see that there is PLAY of BEING at work where the ripe individuals are played upon and made to discard the normal family life, uplifted into the metaphysical. Being deprived of the family is actually effecting a transformation of the sexual libido into the divine libido where the LOVE is not anymore to a person in flesh but rather to a deity. The sexual libido is transmuted into Bakthi for bakthi is LOVE unto BEING, being wedded to BEING.

But the deprivation of family life and the asceticism it occasions is NOT sufficient for being in genuine bakthi. For asceticism can be loveless and emotionally dead and dry with time wasted in vain metaphysical speculations where systems after systems may be built more for JUSTIFYING the ascetic way of life than articulations with encounter with truths. The false metaphysics of such individulas may also turn out to expressions of the Will to Power, borrowing a concept from Nietsche rather than discoveries of TRUTH.

Afflictions such as these destroy these vain and empty metaphysical mental plays-- the PAIN is so so real and being unbearable one is forced to find a solution and in course of which they are forced encounter REALITY and TRUTH and that there is BEING who is real and who can provide the cure.

Appar 2-8

    
      
   
       
   
       
   
      

:

   ,      .     ,          ,    ,  .               ,      ,    !

valitteen manai vaazkkai makizntu adiyeen
    vanja manam onRum ilaamaiyinaal
calittaal oruvar tuNaiyaatumillai
    cangkaveN kuzaiyoor kaatudai yemperumaan
kalittee yen vayiRRin akampadiyee
    kalakki malakkidduk kavarntu tinna
alutteen adiyeen atikaikik kedila
    viiraddaanat tuRai ammaanee

With an innocence of mind initially I enjoyed family life but later I really suffered it. Having forsaken it , now I am all alone with nobody to comfort me when I am depressed and feel disenchanted. Oh lord who pervades the Temple of Viiraddaanam on the banks of river Atikaik Kedilam, who always wears white conch in one of your ears disclosing the FEMININE as part of yourself, I have nobody else now except you. Please provide me a cure from this affliction that staying in my belly , it increase the poison of dirt and is eating up my body. And because of the unbearable pain, I have begun to hate this life itself

Notes:

It seems to be reasonably clear that Appar was in fact married and lived happily for a few years till he was hit by this terrible disease. It may also be the case that he was driven out from the ordinary family life by this affliction. It looks as though this was a PLAY of BEING to possess Appar and make his disengage family life and spend all his time doing service for Civa. A similar episode in the life of Sundarar and Kaaraikkaal Peeyar is worth recalling here. The disruption of family life seem to be a Tantra, a strategy for pressing totally into service of God.

Appar 2-9

  
      
   
       
   
       
   
      

:

         !   !       !     !            ,    .      .       ,          .

ponpoola miLirvathor meeniyiniir
    puripun cadaiyiir meliyum piRaiyiir
tunbee kavalai piNiyenRu ivaRRai
    naNukaamal turantu karantum idiir
enpoolikaL ummai yinit teLiyaar
    adiyaar paduvatu ituvee yaakil
anbee amaiyum atikaik kedila
    viiraddaanattuRai ammaanee

Oh Lord who resides in the temple Viraddaanam on the banks of the river Kedilam in Thriuvatikai! You disclose your self with a gold-like body to show that you are the undying TRUTH and the source of all Bliss. Your hair shines gold and is spread out in curls showing that your Dance Bliss is always there. And you wear the crescent moon to show that you feed the souls with ambrosia, the medicine of eternal youthfulness. But it is surprising that you do not drive away or diminish the miseries in life full of sadness and depressions, mental and physical diseases and so forth. Ignorant individuals like myself fail to understand the hidden purpose of all these. Now if such experiences are also the lot of the devoted, it becomes clear to me that it is NOT just metaphysical illumination that is required but also that of LOVE for all.

Notes:

In this verse Appar seeks to provide a metaphysical REASON for the presence miseries, mental depressions diseases war and so forth as part of worldly existence. Existence is NEVER peaceful and this is so even for the devoted and BEING appears to ALLOW all these as part of life. For HE does NOT PREVENT the occurrence of such calamities and when they already in the world, they are NOT removed immediately and the suffering people relieved somewhat of the loses and pains. It appears to be a DESIGN of the world process that people should suffer all kinds of miseries as though there is a metaphysical NEED for this. People SHOULD suffer for only then they will realize the importance of unconditioned LOVE for not only for reaching BEING but also for leading a healthy and happy life free of afflictions. Religiosity should go along with developing LOVE for all for only then the fanaticism that results in madness and cruelty can be cured.

Life without sufferings of all kinds, will not cure the bestiality inherent to human nature and the egotism that comes along with it. The EGO of man must be wounded and pestilence diseases and so forth are those which wound it and make man humble and loving.

Philosophical disputes and argumentation's alone will NOT culture the mind, it is only sufferings of all kinds that does it.

Appar 2-10

   
       
  
       
   
      
   
     

:

        !            !       ,     ?                !     ,         ,    !  ?

poorttaay angkoor aanaiyin iirurittool
    puRangkaadu arangkaa nadam aada vallaay
aarttaan arakkanranai maalvaraikiiz
    adarttiddu aruL ceyta atukarutaay
veerttum purandum vizuntum ezuntaal
    en veetanaiyaana vilakkidaay
aarttaar punal cuuz atikaik kedila
    viiraddanat tuRai ammaanee!

Oh Lord who resides in the temple of Viraddanam on the banks of the River Kedilam in Thiruvatikai, swelling with flood waters! Once you killed a mad elephant and skinning it you wear its skin in your waist. You dance the dance of destruction using as your stage the burning grounds where all the living creatures end up dead and turn to ashes. You also made IraavaNa, the extremely arrogant tyrant who tried to shake Mount Kailas, weep and cry with unbearable pain but then you blessed him when he repented. Have you forgotten all these heroic acts ? I am suffering immensely this pain and unable to bear it any longer I perspire and falling on the grounds I twist turn and wriggle, standing and collasing but you are NOT doing anything to alleviate the pains. What can I do?

Notes:

BEING is full of LOVE , in fact LOVE itself but this does NOT mean that He is soft and gentle all the time. HE is immensely destructive but his destructiveness is always directed at the EVIL and ARROGANT individulas who are tyrannical and mad with excess desire for POWER and who desire to be God themselves. Every culture creates such tyrannical individuals who kill the innocent mercilessly for selfish reasons. For Appar IraavaNaa stands as the symbol of such individuals and he never tires mentioning that BEING makes them groan and cry with unbearable pains so that they would repent and at which point He would bless them nevertheless.

The mad elephant is another symbol but perhaps here the fanatical individuals , individuals overcome with madness fanaticism or some kind of intoxication in which they are blinded completely.

BEING becomes destructive in the face of such individuals and begins the Dance of Destruction using the burning Ground as the stage. Each time there is death due natural calamities war pestilence and so forth, there is in a way the war waged by the gods, by BEING which make the guilty persons suffer, cry and also die.

Appar is wondering why BEING allows him to continue his immense suffering and do not assume of the destructive forms and DESTROY the disease that is afflicting him so badly.

It remains a mystery as to why Appar is made to suffer as such.

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